Boulevard of Cafe

My life in KL

2010-07-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

Life in KL, busy pace, white noise or whatever noise, people with gloomy face, crossing each other fates, too random and wasted.

Driving the same route, listen to music as if the life has came to a dull point where music lose its function to spice up the life. Self-encouragement always there, but motivation is not there, barely holding a shell to live on. Too many contradiction, goals, obstacles, determination, socialize, doubting instinct are always there to distract your thought.

I came across many painful scene, those beggars scene, i said. A Nanny with wrinkles all over her face, with a smile on her face, as though a way to console her feeling by selling out a tissue to me. I paid. My heart pain as there was a disabled child lying there on shabby, rusted cardboard trolley motionless with his eyes wide open. The moment i handed over the cash, the child fall down from the trolley, this happened in a sudden, but i remembered Nanny want to thank me, and somehow he slightly pushed the trolley a bit while thanking me with just mumbling sound. Coins all over the floor, and child fall without crying. I helped out to put the coin back in place. But the nanny was still smiling, and more and more people started crowding around us... ...

As you can see, i can see the contrast between nanny and child, how is she going to raise up children, how helpless i am when i approach to them, if i didn't buy from them, people around them will just ignore them.... ... too many thoughts at a time at morning pasar, i tried to numb myself after helping out. Got my tissue, with a smile to Nanny over there beside child, and i left.

I can sense that i am going to become numb with every feeling that crosses my heart. Life is like that, perhaps, may be we can find motivation over there. Perhaps... ...

May be all i need is motivation, need to find it, sourcing it, as the way to move out this circumstance. Life can be dull or interesting, i told myself, whether should i open up to the others. Energy wise, i guess i need to work on it.

Neo, come on find a way to make the day interesting!!!!!

P/S: Passage not coherent

你熟悉的是平凡不是每天的华丽

2010-03-02T15:51:00.000-08:00

六年，随便一个什么东西什么人跟着自己六年，想必也成为了自己生活的一部分，难以割舍了。那么相恋了六年的人呢？他说，已经是亲人的感觉了。她却只听到了这里，以为他没有爱了。
　　他其实想说的，是自己人吧。难道不是吗？最开始，我们进进退退，我只让你看到自己打扮好的样子，你也表现得很绅士；当我们熟络，我开始当着你的面补妆擤鼻子，你也开始对我极尽挑剔刻薄之事——这样穿不好看啦，运动一下啦都有小肚子了；到这一步，我们还不分手，还抱着两人在一起的愿望，于是，我们开始寻求一种亲密无间。久而久之，我生病了你不是嘘寒问暖而是责怪地说，笨蛋，谁叫你穿这么少，还不吃药？！你就算是跟哥们儿在一块儿，我也可以丝毫不脸红地call你，喂，买包卫生巾回来！
　　
　　时间就像流水一般，从我们之间时疾时缓地流过，我们看清了彼此，却发现当初绚烂的爱情已经慢慢褪色，真的不再爱了吗？日子平平淡淡，所以，我们才需要争吵和一点若有若无的男女关系来向自己证明对方还是在乎自己的。可是，如果不相爱，可能撑不到六年就分手了，那么，这六年的时间，无论对谁都是一种承诺了吧——我爱你，并且愿意包容你。男主角看着女主角笨手笨脚煮面的样子，无奈了，佯装生气的样子，抢过锅碗瓢盆，自己做；晚归的男主角看着睡着的女主角，会嘀咕，这家伙居然自己做了吃了？女主角会大喊，不是告诉过你浅色的衣服和深色的衣服要分开洗吗，虽然这句话我猜想，她已经说过很多遍了。这不就是生活，现实中的爱情，平淡但在不经意间打动人心。

Time waits for no one

2009-11-08T03:08:00.001-08:00

作者：再见寒秋转自北方网

　　Time waits for no one

　　17岁时的我们究竟在憧憬着什么？17岁时的我们究竟在做着一些什么？17岁时的我们……17岁时的我们距现在已经太过遥远了，在那个青涩的季节里，在纯真的年华中，你的座位旁有着怎样的一个人让你不知所措？你的睡梦中出现了如何一张面孔叫你心悸不已？无助命运中啊，又会多了怎样的一段记忆，就这样让你牵挂终身呢？

　　当着记忆的躯壳冲破沉重的枷锁，我想你的梦，是可以飞翔的。睡梦的翅膀从你柔弱的背脊中默默生长出来时，也许会痛的。但，那只是一种压抑了许久的触感，随着孤独、迷茫、甚至一丝绝望的不断增强，在寂寞的日子里，窗外那巨大的云朵给了你太阳余烬的热量。回忆的时间开始变得缓慢绵长，时钟也不再会滴答作响。你艰难地从摔倒的地方爬起来，不要恐慌，不要让回忆的去冲淡你重生的激扬。这是时间凝住的始点，喧哗退却的地方

　　就这样的死而复生算作什么?老天的宽恕？还是等待中不期而遇的美丽邂逅？17岁的绀野真琴，同样面临着我们曾经左右为难过的文理分科，同样踩着单车和自己的死党共同迟到，同样作着不知所云的试卷，玩着不太精通的棒球，过着不知愁滋味的生活。对于时间对于梦想抑或对于未来的期望都不曾有过太多的奢求，也只不过是要好好享受一下暑假中那三个人一起的美好时光罢了，无论是去海滩、烟花还是浴衣。那个会因为接不好球而鄙视她的津田功介、那个因为迟到而会训斥她的间宫千昭、还有我们的主角绀野真琴就这样静静的在一起吧三个高中时代的好朋友，永远不会分开，永远那样快乐。但那断掉的闸线，16：00时呼啸而至的电车，像所有漫画中的主角们一样，是命运的安排给了真琴这次冲脱平凡重新开始的机会，一切也从此时真正意义上转变了。

　　飞回去吧，不要像以前一样迷茫，无论死亡是真实还是虚幻，无论魔女阿姨口中的"Time-leap"是幸运还是又一次麻烦的爆发。用你双脚去奔跑吧，穿过那香草气息的緑地，掠过那荡起涟漪的河水。

　　“冲~啊~！”

　　一个连走路都会摔跤的女孩，就如此的高高跃起拥有了这种我们可望不可即的穿越时空的能力。她可以回到自己想要回去的任何时间任何地点。被兴奋冲昏了头的“小公主”开始随意使用着自己的这个特殊能力，其实无非只是想去尝尝那个被妹妹抢去的布丁，想要考试考好那么一点点，或是能再多唱上几小时的 KTV，再吃上一遍前天自己已经吃过的烤肉，接住她那人生中的每一次面对的掷球。不要问她为什么会这么幸运，7月13日是个好日子，尽情享受期间的快乐才是最最重要的，俏皮地闪躲过那虽有令你难堪的倒霉事，拥有"Time-leap"的每天都开心笑的停不下来，对于真琴来说这是件好事，但是对于她身边的朋友来说是真样吗？

　　向左向右的路牌注定告诉我们这段故事的转折点开始了，死党千昭那个突如其来的告白就像闪电一般打开了少女的天真的心扉，一次一次穿越时空，一次一次的选择跳过，她只是想维护住那份单纯的朋友关系，只是还没有准备好怎样来面对这份突如其来得爱情告白，当真琴终于逃脱了那段千昭好不容易说出口的话语时，她的同学暗恋千昭已久的友梨却又悄悄的走进了这个玩世不恭的男孩的生活。也许人们就是这样，面对最珍惜的事情，面对最珍惜的人往往太过胆怯，太过小心翼翼了。

　　时间依旧在继续着，高濑的第二次反抗在我看来是故事的又一次转折点，却又是那样的悲凉，他只是为了成就友梨和千昭真正交往的工具，真琴的跳跃也是，我不知道真琴和千昭擦肩而过的心情会是怎样？那个只有17岁的女孩，走着自己太过艰难和不寻常的道路。终于在那些喧闹稍微平静的是时候，她发现了此时手臂上不知为何烙下的标记(“Time-leap”使用次数的标记)，那个自己太过任性的标记。

天空中的云朵依然没有边际的生长着，而少了千昭的棒球场又过于空寂了，三个人的传球就这样变成了两个人的对话。其实就像魔女所说真琴是可以和这个温柔的功介交往的，反正不合适可以从头再来的，但这一次真琴拒绝了，是明白了这样是在玩弄别人的感情，还是真的爱上了那个被自己滥用"Time-leap" 而错过的千昭。静静的钢琴曲又一次响起，冲淡了一些少女的愁绪，浓郁了几分无助的等待，那些伴随着音符而闪动的分镜头是告诉我们时间的飞速流逝，还是在告诉我们时间流逝时是这样悄无声息。

　　很快，不安分的志愿部三人组瞄上了经常和功介独处的真琴，她们不再用什么望远镜和占卜书而是直接选择去质问她。搞笑的行动终于成功，真琴手臂上的标记也只剩下可怜的5次机会，可是她还是选择了又一次的跳跃，不为别的，只为让好朋友功介能够得到其实早该属于他的爱。伴随着欢快的钢琴独奏，我们的真琴开始一次又一次的重重摔倒，在这里我们又看到了无数的搞笑成分，在这里我们又开始为这个女孩的将来担心不已。

　　最后一次的跳跃选择在那高高的跳台上，就像好多希望的开始，就像那一刻真琴的背脊真正的生出了一双翅膀，我们不知道真琴冲出去的一瞬，面颊上闪过的是汗水还是无奈的泪滴，但随着功介和果穗的真正邂逅，我们的真琴除了欣慰的同时也看到了手臂上01的字样。就是这样转瞬即逝，机会是如此，命运更是如此的，意识到这一切的时候的她默默地离开了，耳边的依旧是转变了旋律，略带了淡淡忧伤的那只钢琴曲。图书馆、球馆、存车场，被一次有又次更改变换的钟表，太过平凡的景物却又预示我们的主角一次又一次太过不平凡的既往。

　　随着真琴打开功介的那条短信，更加悲伤的弦乐响起了，我们能感受到她当时的心情，自己那天突然断掉闸线的车子就这样被功介和果穗骑走了，不见了他的教室，空无下来的存车处，占着线路无法接通的电话，和以往一样平静生活着的人们。时间在无情地继续着，但当真琴冲到了那个曾经断送过自己性命的地方时，却什么都没有发生……。我想就这样结束吧，静静的去等待下一次重来的跳跃，回到自己软软的床上冲个澡和可爱的妹妹聊些什么，千昭也好、功介也罢、甚至是说说那个让你不知如何是好的“Time-leap”也行。但是“嗡嗡” ，其实千昭终究会问到真琴有关“Time-leap”的事情，就像故事中那一直出现的母子和那一群准点敲钟的小人一样，怎么都是无法跳过的。但这一次她还是选择了逃避，用最后的一次机会，用最后的一次希望。时间真的依旧重新来过，千昭的问题也被成功打断，但功介呢？眼睁睁的看着功介骑着那辆断掉了闸线的车子从自己面前呼啸而过，在那个曾经是自己死去的时刻，就这样撞到了护栏上，然后朝着那飞驰而来的电车像那时的自己一样飞了过去。

　　满身伤痕的真琴你还能做些什么？用那个早已经被你用光的机会吗？其实，真正悲伤悔恨的事情，不是我们没有把握住的现在，而是拥有着回到过去能力的真琴却再一次丢失了自己最后的一次希望。

　　“停下来！停下来！停下来！停下来！停下来！停下来！停下来！停下来……”

　　真琴歇斯底里地喊着，她希望这一切的一切能像以前一样重新来过，抓住那个在自己面前死去的朋友，死去的自己，死去的希望。

　　“真琴，如果我说我是从未来来的你会笑我吗？”千昭的出现顺理成章地揭开了一切的谜题。就为了看一眼那张在未来就已经消失的传说中的画卷，他来到了这个时代，这个季节，爱上了这样一个麻烦不断却又如此善良可爱的绀野真琴。时间真的静止下来了，因为千昭用掉了属于他的最后一次的机会，停止了转动的城市在现在看来又是多么的寂寥多么的无助，她们穿过每一条街道每一条小巷，就像从一个个分镜头中出现的那个寂寞的红气球，在灰蒙蒙的楼中随风飘荡，这里只有她们，17岁的她们。让过去的人知道“Time-leap”存在，千昭是必须消失的，但是反复的重来，老天却又给时间倒退的真琴一次重新来过的机会。当奥华子的歌声响彻耳畔时，当真琴一步步冲向空中又重新见到那些历历在目的往事时，我们的眼眶还有理由继续干涩下去吗？

　　真琴又一次面对了这个重复了太多遍的一天，她勇敢地告诉了千昭她所知晓的一切，哪怕千昭真的会离开自己，因为她已经准备好了去坦然面对这个真实的一切，懂得了如何奔跑，懂得了如何跳跃的她是那样的坚定而又充满着自信，夕阳依旧照这个美丽的世界，我们可爱的调皮的真琴没有等到那个曾经让她无处可逃的告白，千昭也依旧用那些莫令良可的言语维护着他那即将溜走的男子汉形象，到了这里总是感觉仿佛是任何东西都在和这一对小情侣作对，绕了好大的一个圈子走了，好长一段的弯路，却又恰恰回到了这里，为了什么？

　　最后听到的，只有这一句，在她的耳边响起，“我在未来等你。”真琴哭了，“马上就去，飞奔着去！”其实有了这两句话，不是已经足够了吗？

　　去仰望的依旧是那高入天际的云端，来截住那飞入手中的棒球，抓紧，然后再舒展开你的身体，把它向更高更远的目标掷去。

　　我想时间这东西又开始慢慢延伸了，对着变黑的屏幕，忽然想起以前看过的《罗拉快跑》和《神奇的遥控器》，彼此都有几分相似。只是这种淡淡的初恋滋味却太过浓郁了和粘稠了，让我们无法去忘怀这个女孩给我们带来的这个别样的夏天，无法去忘怀脑海中那些永远也抹不掉的记忆片段。时间只是短暂的时间，它们无声的来，无声的又走了很远，我们只是坐在这里等待的过客，看着不属于自己的风景，幻想着那片望不到的天堂。还要继续等待吗，也许会吧，又也许不会，想想那些远去的恋人和朋友，又没有为了她们去勇敢面对明天的一切，未来的一切。

　　那个夏天，你说永远不会忘记。时间流逝，如今我才恍然泪流。Time waits for no one不是吗？

Everyday's small reading

2009-09-28T09:46:00.001-07:00

There’s a Buddhist story –

One of the Buddha’s students approached him and asked “Are you the messiah?” No, he replied. “Well are you a healer?” “No.” He replied. “Well are you a teacher then?” “No.” He replied again.
“Well then what are you?” Buddha replied ‘’I am awake.’’

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, no matter who said it, no matter if I said it unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. First, rely on the spirit and the meaning of the teachings and not on the words. Second, rely on the teachings not on the personality of the teachers. Third, rely on real wisdom not superficial interpretation and fourth rely on the wisdom of your pure mind, not on judgmental perceptions.

If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you will not leave one meal pass without sharing it. in same way thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened.

Happiness never decreases by being shared. Neither fire nor wind neither birth nor death can erase our good deeds. You, yourself as much as anyone in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. There’s no fire like greed, no crime like hatred, no sorrow like separation no sickness of hunger of heart, and no joy like the joy of freedom. Health and contentment are your greatest possessions and freedom your greatest joy. Look within be still free from freedom and attachment know this with joy of living in the way. The thought manifests as the word the word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into habit and habit hardens into character. So watch the thoughts and its ways with care and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings.

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt, doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up present relations. It’s a thorn that irritates and hurts it’s a sword that kills. The tongue, like a sharp knife kills before drying blood. Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind they can change our world. Anger will never disappear as long as the thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear as soon as thoughts and resentments are forgotten.

Everything is based on mind is led by mind and is fashioned by mind. If you speak an act with a polluted mind, suffering will follow you as the wills of the ox cart follows the footsteps of the ox. If you speak an act with a pure mind, happiness will follow you. Better than thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace. Hatred isn’t seized through hatred at any time. Hatred seizes through love this is an unalterable law. Holding unto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burnt. What we think we become. Fill your mind with compassions, pay no attention to the faults of others things done or left undone by others. Consider only what by self is done or left undone. An insincere an evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast. A wild beast may wound your body but an evil friend will wound your mind. Avoid all proud and arrogant minds and remain peaceful and subdivided.

Generate compassion for lowly beings and especially avoid despising or humiliating them. Do not be jealous of the good qualities of others but out of admiration adopt them for yourself. Do not look for faults in others but look for faults in yourself and purge them like bad blood. Since you cannot tame the mind of others until you’ve tamed your own, begin by taming your own mind. No one saves us but ourselves’ no one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. Abandon wrong doing.

It can be done, if there were no likely hood I would not ask you to do it. But since it is possible and since it brings blessings and happiness, I do ask of you to abandon wrong doing. Cultivate doing well and it can be done. If it brings deprivation and sorrow I would not ask u to do it. We are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts and with our thoughts we make our world.

The last words of Buddha “All condition and things in the world are changeable, they are not lasting.” Try to accomplish your own salvation with diligence. Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down by many generations. But after observation and analysis when you find when anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all than accept it and live up to it .

Don't find the truth within media, but history. Tibetan case.

2009-09-26T02:44:00.001-07:00

Now is my summary of what i thought.

Tibet was nothing more to disturb the Sovereignty of Republic of China just like US wanna to manipulate Taiwan to against China. Besides that during the year of 1950s- 1959 without the involvement of CPC, Chinese Communist Party, Tibet was under the dictatorship of Dalai Lama.

Let's see when one country is under the dictatorship, was the probability of having peace talk possible from the history point of view? From the Roman Empire to Nazi, all the changes was taken in the tough form. and the CPC is a tough party, all the people against him will get in trouble, so tough people, when they deal with the dictatorship, they got their tough solution to get trouble done once and for all. I would like to say the involvement of CPC in Tibet was nothing more than to liberate the Tibetans from dictatorship.

I obviously oppose the dictatorship, but the Britain and CIA had trained Tibetan in US and UK and then airdropped back to their country. By supplying the armor and weapon, CIA informed them to do every possible mean to disturb the sovereignty of China. So, the influence of media take big stake of brainwashing people mind, and those who are informed are the one who research the history deeply.

Free Tibet is a good idea though, but under what basis? You have to go back and research the map of China back to 5000 years ago. Not to argue the map, but for economic reason, i think it best to fit with China economy policy. Free Tibet and let Tibetans back to wild. No way. You would argue that they are more happy with the way they are. However, as long as not under Dalai Lama dictatorship. And last question, Tibetans in the Tibet should be the one to determine whether to have independent but not the outsider or the protesters in TVs.

The other argument is that, the disputes will only benefit the Western Country to stop bring up China. In this very moment, isn't it the time Tibet should stand hand in hand?

For the issue of my friend, i am almost same age with them, 22. But we were born during 1987 not 1950s. So i believe the negative of CPC influenced them the most. But there is no denying fact that they do bring the development. So when dealing this matter, it depends that what sides you want to take more weight on? Emotional side? History side? Economy side, Political side and etc.

To my friends, please think the issue as a whole but not solely from what side. When people locked into one sided fact, he/she will be the in the tunnel but not flying in the sky.

The other side of Tibet... ...

2009-09-26T02:32:00.000-07:00

The Weblog of Breaking Parity

A brief history of Tibet in 1950-1959

New Stage of Life

2009-07-29T23:23:00.000-07:00

My friends are on the new stage of life, leaving me behind, last semester student.
My thought began wondering recently about the future, but i do know what to strive! For what that lacks is that action to strive for it.

Today he is taking off from St. Cloud to IOWA, my best regard to his career, and i always have positive thought he will be doing well. But it contrast vividly to my current situation where i am much more like in stagnant stage. Time to move on! I told myself.

Feel don't like talking about my future, but i do have plan.

Recently i am addicted to Cheery Blossom by Ketsume, if i'm not wrong with the singer name. It was the hit on 2005! But the song is kind of blue as it always flash back to his own memory. Touching but at the same time regretful. No use to stuck in memories, time to move on. It is nice to "taste" those memory, those days... ... someday in future.

Ohh, the cross-word puzzle test is kind of interesting and yet challenging, i thought we would finished up the test in half an hour, but not that! It almost drove everyone of us NUTS, it's fill in the blanks. My professor is too cool! Hoho, next time should work harder on reading!

A day in business ethic class

2009-06-18T15:37:00.001-07:00

A boring day in PHIL 494, it was all about discussion, and i didn't touch the case at all. So, i started drawing randomly, and it turned out to be drums, bass and keyboard. I didn't include the lead guitar, as all the drawing just came out spontaneously by my hand as though it has a brain itself lolx.

So, here is my picture, lousy drawings, but it's fun. hehe.

How to come back?!

2009-06-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

Just thought of a funny question after watching a movie

If you had been brought by someone to back to the past to redo something, and you had done it. But you find out that the one who brought you had lost his TPDD which is known as Time Plane Destroyed Device.

So how should you go back to the place where you started from?

Assume
1.Time is parallel
2.3 years ago, you have another one of you staying at that time

Think before read my stupid answer. LOL

Answer

Assume that you are in the bedroom or limited room/space. Freeze the time in there.
Because the time is parallel, the "3 years before" time goes on but if you are staying in that room you won't be aging.
Either you can accelerate the time outside the room, or let "3 years before" time to pass for 3 years, the choice is yours.
By the time 3 years had gone right at 9.36pm, you must have a device to create the bridge or connection to "NOW", the time when you started to travel. That's the way you can go back to your world without aging too. Hehe

老爸茶店

2009-04-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

老爸茶店和海南其他没有叫老爸茶的甜茶店一脉相承，前身均是华侨带回来的西式茶店。遍布全岛各地的甜茶店是海南华侨文化的典型体现。

用“风靡全岛”来形容茶店在海南的影响力似乎一点都不过分，不管是在都市海口、还是在乡村小镇都能看到茶店。 “吃茶不？”成为许多海南本地人特别是中老年人经常挂在嘴边的一句话，而在海口，这种平民味十足、消费低、毫无拘束的茶店被称为“老爸茶”。

“老爸茶”源自何处？海南人从何时起喜欢上这种喝茶方式？这样一种大众化的消费方式何以会被许多人将之与海南人尤其是海南男人的个性、城市的味道联系在一起呢？这些都值得细细品味。

一个下午，约上几个朋友，到海口龙华路海医旁边的一家茶店喝茶。进去刚坐下，端茶的小妹没有递来菜单，因为他们根本没有正规的菜单，直接问：“阿姐，吃乜茶？”小妹拿着一块夹着点单表格的塑料板，然后在每一个已写好价钱的品名后面，按“正”来画，比如在柠檬茶的后面，如果一杯就画“一”，两杯就画 “”，如果是五杯就凑成了一个“正”。

而点东西的时候，海南本地人都会习惯于用海南话来说：“咖啡黑一盅，茶‘滴’一盅、啡‘滴’一盅……”这些词直接译成普通话时会让许多人看得云里雾里，但是经常去喝茶的海南人都知道，这是老爸茶店里特定的“茶语”，不同的说法点的茶完全不同。

如咖啡黑指的是不加奶不加糖的纯咖啡，茶“滴”指的是红茶加一点奶，而啡“滴”指的是咖啡加一点奶，不止如此，还有海口人说的 “茶掺”（茶掺加大量的奶），“黑掺”（即咖啡加红茶）……而海南话说“一盅”是指“一杯”。

冲制这些甜茶十分讲究，各种料加的比例要不多不少，如果加多或加少了则会变味。茶杯在桌子前排成两行，冲茶的大姐左手熟练地往杯子里加炼乳，右手则拿着一个有长长出水嘴的铁壶，里面还加着一个大大的过滤网，将咖啡粉及热水加到里面后，再往每个杯子里倒。

而上这些茶时，小妹往往不会单单端着一杯冲好的茶，而是外加一壶淡红茶、开水之类的，让你可以不停地往杯子里续杯，往往一张桌子上你会看到几个茶壶，而那壶里的水，海南话里称之为“茶二”。而海南人在说笑话数落一个爱泡茶店的人时，往往会说：“你是茶二喝完喝茶三、茶四、茶五……一直喝到天黑。 ”

茶点上来后，小妹会问你“吃乜果？”海南人吃茶不会光喝一杯茶，他们往往会点上一些面包、各式糕点之类的东西，而这些糕点，就统称为“果”，其实 “果”才是海南茶店里的主角。跟着我们一起去喝老爸茶的陈先生与朋友选茶店时，不会看那里的茶怎样，而往往会看哪里的果好，就选哪里，几乎每一家都会有自己的招牌“果”。

海南本土作家李高兰对老爸茶也十分感兴趣，她说在海南，“茶果”相当丰富，有煮、炒、炖、炸、烤等多种做法，烤的有各种面包、蒸的有蒸水晶饺子、各种包子馒头等。还有各种粑食（即用米及杂粮制成的点心）更是令外地人叹为观止，有否馅分为有馅粑、无馅粑；以口味分甜馅粑（甜馅大都加有椰丝）、咸馅粑。以原料分米粉粑、木薯粑、“猪肠粑”、牛麦（高粱）粑、狗尾（小米）粑、玉米粑等；至于“茶果”以形状命名，有粑仔粑、“碰公粑”、“多孔粑”、“锅粑”、煎粑、蒸粑、薏粑。

“茶果”里点得比较多的是面包，面包的命名也多以形状、味道或以其所含材料来命名的，命名十分直接易懂，符合了其大众茶果的特点，比如“排骨包” 就是中间夹着一块大排骨，“老鼠包”就是两头尖尖的样子，“风车包”则做成了一个风车的形状，“铁锅包”则是面包底下用一块铁制的东西装着……

“公爹人（指男人）一日两顿茶”，在海南，由于去茶店喝茶的多是男人，一些男人养成了一天去两次茶店的习惯，于是男人也跟老爸茶有了很深的关系，也有人说海南的女人特贤惠，把家里的粗活细活全包了，让男人可以放心地去喝茶。于是外地人认为，“海南女人在地里，海南男人在茶里 ”，爱喝茶的男人都是比较悠闲的比较松懒的。但其实海南本地人，包括海南的女人并不认为男人爱去茶店有什么错，传统的海南女人觉得男人的天地在外面而不在家里，应该多结交朋友多去闯荡，不应该被一些生活“小”事所累，而茶店也许是他们结交朋友的最好地方。

骑楼、西式茶店――老爸茶店的旧影子

与内地一些城市的茶店不同，“甜茶”是海南茶店里的主角。地道的海南本地茶客，在老爸茶店里喝茶时并不太喜欢点品质较高的龙井或者碧螺春之类用茶叶泡制的茶，他们最为喜欢的是带有甜味的茶――咖啡、奶茶、红茶、柠檬茶等等，有时甚至冲泡红茶时都会加上一些糖，而茶店的这些经营内容、茶客的习惯，都与海南的历史、海南的归侨、海南的生活习俗有着密切的联系。

二十世纪初期，海口拆城扩街，将原来的五六米宽的石板路扩建为汽车街道，并将原来的四五条路扩建到30多条，并建立起市政厅，而当时为了进行市政建设，政府吸引华侨资本回乡投资，从南洋各国回来的华侨陆续在中山路、长堤路、得胜沙等建起了骑楼，这一区域的商贸业也急速地发展起来，当时全市商店迅速发展到600多家，贸易总额达到一年数百万元，而最为突出的特点就是华侨资本对海口近代城市的形成起了最为关键的作用。

华侨不仅带回了资本，也将他们在东南亚一带养成的生活习惯带了回来。在热闹的骑楼街道边，自然少不了供给商家和住户休憩的地方，一些西式的茶店开始出现，而其经营者多为华侨的亲属，这些店的地点多设在中山路、得胜沙、博爱路一带。

住在得胜沙的一位吴阿婆说，解放前的西式茶店不是普通的老百姓能进去喝的，里面的服务员多身穿旗袍，十分优雅，茶店里的服务也十分周到，甚至还有热毛巾可擦手。

老人们回忆，当时的茶店里经营的主要是咖啡、红茶、牛奶、咖啡奶、红茶奶、阿华田和可可以及各式糕点等。店里设有专门的茶师及点心师，这些师傅多是东南亚一带的归侨，他们带回了专门的制作方法，比如咖啡豆都是由茶师亲自炒，茶也是由茶师们亲自冲制，而各式各样的糕点也是点心师制作的，其炒制咖啡时香味能在骑楼的小街上飘出好远，那时一般都是收入不错的人才可以进入这些茶店内聊天喝茶。

“这种西式茶店应该说是老爸茶店的最早形式。”省烹饪协会常务副会长兼秘书长林俊春说，这种西式茶店所提供的茶及点心，不仅是归侨爱吃，当时本地的居民也因此喜欢并接受了这些口味，慢慢地这种泊来式的喝茶方式成为了海南人的生活习惯。

国营茶店、私人茶店――从西式茶店走向平民化

解放后，海口的西式茶店店铺又有所增加，但其经营的品种仍然以原来的品种为主。但到了上个世纪的七十年代末期，陆续出现的国营西式茶店可以说让更多的海口人可以走进了茶店，享受到这种原来高收入者才可以拥有的待遇。

1979年，海口市饮食公司所属西茶店有宝岛茶店、椰林茶店、红旗茶店、红岛茶店、工农兵茶店、朝阳茶店、海岛茶店、永红茶店等8间国营西茶店。海南省烹饪协会副会长唐人志曾在海口市饮食公司当过采购。他说，西茶原来是饮食公司里一个最为主要的部分，还专门成立了西茶党支部，他说那时所需的茶料和面粉也都是国家配额供给的，因此每冲一杯茶都十分讲究，不能多放一点，也不能少放影响了味道。

而喝茶的价格也慢慢地降了下来，当时红茶每杯是七分钱，咖啡是一角钱，牛奶一角三分，而咖啡奶和红茶奶就稍微贵点，是一角六分钱，加上面包、蛋糕等糕点，一顿下来就是两三角钱，茶店里坐的时间不限制，慢慢地许多人喝茶已经养成了一坐就是几个钟头的习惯。

“那时茶店的面积不太大，都在五六十到一百平方米左右。”住在博爱路的李阿姨回忆，当时她和许多工友在放工后，都会去茶店里坐上一会儿，喝杯红茶，吃点糕点，她还记得那里自己最爱吃的是茶店里的“炸包”（一种炸过的面食）。

上个世纪八十年代后，国营西茶店慢慢地减少，个体经营的茶店逐渐兴起，而这些茶店的经营内容及品种较之以前的茶店又有很大变化，开始在西式茶店内经营起一些中茶，并提供一些海南本地人喜欢的汤面、粉、绿豆汤、番薯汤、猪杂等，不仅有了甜的，还有了咸的，让各种品味慢慢地为更多的顾客所接受，特别是一些时间较为充裕的中老年人。

而就是在这段时间，这种为许多大众所接受的喝茶方式开始慢慢地被海口人称为“老爸茶”。“老爸”在海口话里是指中老年人，也有人说其实“老爸茶” 应该写为“老霸茶”，因为海口话里，老爸是指爸爸，而“老霸”则指爷爷一辈，“老霸茶”更为贴切，但后来可能人们更多地接受了“老爸茶”的说法。

在海口茶店的门口，往往找不到挂着“老爸茶”这三个字的茶店，“喝老爸茶”的说法其实更多的只是为海口本地人所称，在琼海、文昌、万宁等类似茶店较多的地方，并没有将这种茶店称为“老爸茶”，而是单纯地叫之为“茶店”。

早上和下午――吃茶的黄金时间

海南人把“喝”茶称为“吃”茶，除了受当地方言影响外，也许还因为进茶店时，茶毕竟是配角，主角是各种好吃的点心、粉面、甜品、地方小吃等。

茶店里的早餐可谓是丰富多样的，咸的有可以让你连汤带水、热乎乎地吃进去的万宁后安粉、文昌抱罗粉，也有拌得入味可口的海南粉、文昌腌粉；甜的有咖啡、奶茶，各式面包和糕点，甚至还有清补凉、地瓜汤、万宁粽子、煎饺子之类的，这些你都可以在老爸茶店里面一天换一样地吃，老爸茶店就像是大型制作坊，虽然空间简陋，却能做出多式多样的东西满足不同口味的人的需求。可以说，小吃品种繁多的一间茶店，就像是一条小吃街一样丰富，难怪茶客们对茶店流连忘返。

早上和下午，都是老爸茶店里客人较多的时候，三四元钱一顿早餐，低廉的价格和丰富的样式让许多人都愿意将这里当作自己的早餐地点。住在文昌的张大爷和老伴说自己很少在家吃早餐，他们往往在老爸茶店里点上一两样，两个人花上四五元钱，就可以解决一顿丰富的早餐，而家里实在无法做出样式这么多的早餐款式。

夏日，一个松懒舒服的午觉之后，海南人喜欢吃点东西，在海南话里，这叫“吃日斗”，“吃日斗”大概是在三四点的时候，在农村的家里，这个“吃日斗 ”的习惯往往是简单吃一些中午吃剩的饭菜，而在一些有老爸茶店的乡镇或是城市，“吃日斗”的地点往往改在了茶店里，而这又类似于西方人特别是英国人所喜欢的“下午茶”。

西方人喜欢在午饭及下午工作休息的时间，喝点红茶，配以西点，而他们的红茶往往会加上糖或者淡奶；或者是在悠闲的下午，几个亲朋好友坐在户外的铁艺桌子前，点上一杯茶，喝上一下午。后来这些习惯传到了新加坡、马来西亚等国家及香港等东西方文化结合的地方，而在这些地方，当时聚集着许多从海南出外谋生的海南人，在回乡时也将这些生活习惯带回海南，人们开始喜欢上这种带着点“泊来”性质而又悠闲的生活方式。

与早上相比，下午来老爸茶店的人似乎坐在茶店里的时间会更长些，因为经常会约上几个熟人朋友一起，趁着喝茶的时间，家长里短、生活琐事、社会趣闻甚至于一些自己“分析”的彩票信息，每人拿着长长一条的 “奖纸”（写有已出彩票号码的纸）。你一言我一语的聊上好久。下午，在一些颇受欢迎的茶店，几乎很难找到座位。

休闲、热闹、包容――老爸茶外的世界

在老爸茶店里，很少能看到行色匆匆或是忙忙碌碌的人，这里的大部分茶客对“时间”是没有概念的，一人一杯茶、一个包点，也许他们可以坐上一下午。而据调查，在老爸茶店里有空坐上三五个小时的人，大多是一些普通工人、农民、下岗工人或失业者、退休工人等这类人，他们消费价格为4元至7元，也有10元以上的。

没有了工作空间，没有了与外界交流的最佳渠道，生活相对悠闲的人们似乎把茶店当作了自己与外界沟通的一个主要场所。

在每个老爸茶店里，都会有一批每天固定时间到店的客人，他们也经常会谈论一些报纸上、电视上看到的时事、大政的话题、各种社会趣闻、老百姓的生活状况等等，有人笑称：“老爸茶店里可以听到老百姓最真切的心里话。如果在这设一个意见和建议箱，或许能收集到许多东西。”

这种“休闲”的意味让人感受到了海南人一种平和、安乐的心理状态，但许多从外地来的人却不理解，“为啥那些人会有那么多的时间泡在茶馆里？而不是多想想怎么赚钱？”于是乎，老爸茶在一些人特别是一些外地人的眼里，成了“闲人”“懒人”消磨时间的地方。

但不管外人如何看待，如何评说，经常去老爸茶店的茶客或许都会一笑了之，置之不理，他们依旧会按着自己的生活方式，一到时间就进茶店里享受自己的时光。

“包容性强其实是老爸茶店与其它茶店相比之下最为不同的一点。”林俊春说，这种包容性首先体现在它的经营内容上可以中西结合，既有西式茶点，也有中式餐点，还兼有各种地方小吃；对于顾客来说，也是不受限制，不管是穿着、坐姿、人数，在茶店里打打牌或者大声说话，都不会有人给你投来异样的眼光；对于喝茶的时间来说，更是不论长短，你可以一壶茶一直从早上喝到晚上……

诸葛曰

2009-03-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

夫君子之行，靜以修身，儉以養德；非澹泊無以明志，非寧靜無以致遠。夫學須靜也，才須學也；非學無以廣才，志無以成學。怠慢則不能勵精，險躁則不能冶性。年與時馳，意與歲去，遂成枯落，多不接世。悲守窮廬，將復何及！

第一課：寧靜的力量「靜以修身」、「非寧靜無以致遠」、「學須靜也」。
諸葛亮忠告孩子寧靜才能夠修養身心，靜思反省。不能夠靜下來，則不可以有效的計劃未來，而且學習的首要條件，就是有寧的環境。現代人大多數終日忙碌，你是否應在忙亂中靜下來，反思人生方向？

第二課：節儉的力量「儉以養德」。
諸葛亮忠告孩子要節儉，以培養自己的德行。審慎理財，量入為出，不但可以擺脫負債的困擾，更可以過著紀律的簡樸生活，不會成為物質的奴隸。在鼓勵消費的文明社會，你有否想過節儉的好處呢？

第三課：計劃的力量「非澹泊無以明志」、「非寧靜無以致遠」。
諸葛亮忠告孩子要計劃人生，不要事事講求名利，才能夠了解自己的志向，要靜下來，才能夠細心計劃將來。面對未來，你有理想嗎？你有使命感嗎？你有自己的價值觀嗎？

第四課：學習的力量「夫學須靜也」、「才須學也」。
諸葛亮忠告孩子寧靜的環境對學習大有幫助，當然配合專注的平靜心境，就更加事半功倍。諸葛亮不是天才論的信徒，他相信才能是學習的結果。你有否全心全力的學習？你是否相信努力才有成就？

第五課：增值的力量「非學無以廣才」、「非志無以成學」。
諸葛亮忠告孩子要增值先要立志，不願意努力學習，就不能夠增加自己的才幹。但學習的過程中，決心和毅力非常重要，因為缺乏了意志力，就會半途而廢。你有否想過，一鼓作氣人多，堅持到底人少的道理？

第六課：速度的力量「怠慢則不能勵精」。
諸葛亮忠告孩子凡事拖延就不能夠快速的掌握要點。電腦時代是速度的時代，樣樣事情講求效率，想不到一千八百多年前的智慧，也一樣不謀而合。快人一步，不但理想達到，你有否想過，有更多時間去修正及改善？

第七課：性格的力量「險躁則不能冶性」。
諸葛亮忠告孩子太過急躁就不能夠陶冶性情。心理學家說：「思想影響行為，行為影響習慣，習慣影響性格，性格影響命運。」諸葛亮明白生命中要作出種種平衡，要「勵精」，也要「冶性」。你要提升自己性格的品質嗎？

第八課：時間的力量「年與時馳」、「意與歲去」。
諸葛亮忠告孩子時光飛逝，意志力又會隨著時間消磨，「少壯不努力，老大徒傷悲」，「時間管理」是個現代人的觀念，細心想一想，時間不可以被管理，每天二十四小時，不多也不少，惟有管理自己，善用每分每秒。請你想一想，你有蹉跎歲月嗎？

第九課：想像的力量「遂成枯落」、「多不接世」、「悲守窮廬」、「將復何及」。
諸葛亮忠告孩子時光飛逝，當自己變得和世界脫節，才悲嘆蹉跎歲月，也於事無補。要懂得居安思危，才能夠臨危不亂。想像力比知識更有力量。你有沒有從大處著想，小處著手，腳踏實地，規劃是人生呢？

第十課：精簡的力量
以上諸葛亮寫給兒子的一封信，只用了短短八十六字，精簡地傳遞了具體的訊息。我相信精簡的表達源於清晰的思想，長篇大論的內容，容易令人生厭，精簡溝通更有效果。你懂得言之有物地精簡溝通嗎？

言えない秘密

2009-03-17T22:57:00.000-07:00

As cold coffee left the coasters
My feeling was as though left far beyond from you

Striving my best to pull together the past we had
On my face, you can still see them ever so dearly

Last rainy day wasn't the most beautiful scene
It's the shelter that once shared with you in the rain

Pictures, flashbacks. Those in my memory
On the single swings, without you, dreams losing its color

You told me that gradually letting it down, i'd be able to go further
and why bother changing the times we'd missed

You used your finger tip to stop me from saying goodbye
Couldn't imagine you being my side was soon completely dissolved in time

Perhaps, life's destiny only allowed us to meet
And only allowed us to be in love in this season of fall

Only after the pieces drifting down, i just realized they were fragments of happiness
How should i ever to pick up these dearly pieces

Dilemma

2009-03-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

Achte auf deine Gedanken, denn sie werden Worte.
Achte auf deine Worte, denn sie werden Handlungen.
Achte auf deine Handlungen, denn sie werden Gewohnheiten.
Achte auf deine Gewohnheiten, denn sie werden Dein Charakter.
Achte auf Deinen Charakter, denn er wird Dein Schicksal.

Watch your thoughts, because they become words
Watch your words, because they become actions
Watch your actions, because they become habits
Watch your habits, because they become your personality
Watch your personality, because it becomes your destiny

Come back to me

2009-02-11T11:04:00.001-08:00

Yeah! Finally Utada, Hikki make a comeback to US with totally new English album "This is the one" And her song "Come back to me" is now available to purchase in Itunes Store right now. Just pay a visit to her blog on my link at the left side. I will attach the song lyrics over here, yeah Hikki "Come back to me"

Quick comment about this morning... ... I woke up at 8 in the morning, found myself i had something undone for today morning, that's to find the sponsorship for beverage for coming Friday's event. I promised friends to do it today, man, it was too early, and i had to walk 15 minutes long under this freezing weather to school. I just could not bear it. Yilin, came into my mind as she is the one living in school and the one closest to the office to get the sponsorship of the beverage.

Thanks to her, i saved a lot a hassle. Well, it is just a walk to school. Later i went back to my bed to wait Yilin news about the sponsorship regarding beverage. The first call was her call, and i helped her out with not much hassle. The second call was the call from Yong Heng when i was going to sleep. The third call was from Yap, telling me about the job fair in downtown. Then the final call was from Charter, and i was being awoke abruptly, and i could hear from the other side babling about the policy statement of the charter, and this call might be recorded from ... ... and etc. Stop those nonsense, i had heard of it thousands of times. Oh i forgot to terminate the internet service as the promotion deal came to an end, and charter wished me to continue the service with them... ... I could not stand with her ability to keep talking about the promotion deal, and i said call me back tomorrow, and i ended myself with sweet dream again. HAHAH! Below is the lyrics of Come back to me

Come back to me
by Utada

The rain falls on my windows
And the coldness runs through my soul
When the rain falls, oh when the rain falls
I don't want to be alone

I wish that I could photoshop on
Our bad memories
Because the flashbacks, oh the flashbacks
Won't leave me alone

If you come back to me
I'll be all that you need
Baby, come back to me
Let me make up for what happened in the past

Baby come back to me
Come back
I'll be everything you need
Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
Boy, you're one in a million
Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
I'll be everything you need
Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
You're one in a million

Memories I have of Manhattan
She goes shopping for new clothes
And she buys this
And she buys that
Just leave her alone

I wish that he would listen to her
Side of the story
It isn't that bad
It isn't that bad
And she's wiser for it now

I admit I cheated
Don't know why I did it
But I do regret it
Nothing I can do or say can change the past

Baby come back to me
Come back
I'll be everything you need
Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
Boy, you're one in a million

Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
I'll be everything you need
Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
You're one in a million
One in a million

Everything I ever did
Heaven knows I'm sorry but
I was too young to see
You were always there for me
And my curiosity got the better half of me
Baby take it easy on me

Anything from A to Z
Tell me what you want to be
I open my heart to be
You are more priority
Can't you see you punished me
More than enough already
Baby take it easy on me

Baby take it easy on me

Baby come back to me
Baby come back to me

Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
I'll be everything you need
Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
Boy, you're one in a million

Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
I'll be everything you need
Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
You're one in a million
One in a million

Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
I'll be everything you need
Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
Boy, you're one in a million
One in a million

Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
I'll be everything you need
Come back
Baby come back to me
Come back
Boy, you're one in a million
One in a million

Come Back To Me Lyrics

Quick post

2009-02-10T03:49:00.001-08:00

Just a quick post before i start reading my dead boring text book. These weeks, i spent a lot of time on Tax Accounting yet don't know whether it is worth of studying or not. If i drop this course, then i will not be qualified as the holder of the scholarship which requires every international student to hold minimum 12 credit hours. The point is that i had fulfilled that section which means it is not necessarily for me to take it.

Trade-off occurs between credit hours to graduation and CGPA. Shoot! Well, when i try to think over again, may be what am i doing right now is just a little hardship compares to those MIT students. I just cannot imagine those MIT students who take 20 credit hours per semester. So, my problem is nothing to them. Oh gosh... ...

No crapping around here, but to study hard! Gambateh.

P/S: I am addicted to M.O.V.E songs recently, hehe!

Believe

2009-01-30T08:09:00.000-08:00

Guys, i don't know whether you all fond of house/jazz/funk/techno/hip-hop music. But this song is about describing the life especially the beat is so catchy and yet the jazzy saxophone depicts the stream of colorful life. Well, i may exaggerate, but hope you all like this song.

I could not find its' lyrics online, so i type it down while listening to the song.

P/S: Don't sue me, no copy right infringement. LOL Peace!

Believe
by I-dep

Never be the one whom i meant to be
I'm designed to be
the one who dreams
It never be the life
that i really meant to live
Cause i dream to fly

When the light has gone in the static town
i remember who i am
i remember where i from
and i sing and sing and sing
If i believe myself
my believe is all in the way that i can believe
There it goes on goes on, life is on as i believe

Jumping on the train to nowhere to see my views
I don't know how many stops more from my land
Feels like miles away from me, just miles away from me
Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere to be

Looking out for stars in darkness to light my rail
But the darkness often fills entire sky
Feels like far away from there, just far away from there
Somewhere, somewhere to be

Ever be the one whom you meant to be
You are designed to be
the one who dreams
Can it be the life
that you really meant to live?
Once you dream to fly

When the night has gone in the silent air
You remember who you are
You remember where you from
And you run and run and run

If you believe yourself
your belief is all
About the way you can be you
There it goes on, goes on
Life is on as you believe

Jumping on the train to nowhere to see my views
You don't know how many stops more from your land
Feels like miles away from here, just miles away from here
Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere to be

Looking out for stars in darkness to light your rail
But the darkness often fills entire sky
Feels like far away from there, just far away from there
Somewhere, somewhere to be

Jumping on the train to nowhere to see my views
You don't know how many stops more for your land
Feels like miles away from here, just miles away from here
Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere to be

Looking out for stars in darkness to light your rail
But the darkness often fills entire sky
Feels like far away from there, just far away from there
Somewhere, somewhere to be

Please notify me any correction for this lyrics. Thanks and stay warm.

国产凌凌漆

2008-12-09T02:18:00.000-08:00

Just wanna posted up this women that i admire when she was young, and she was so energetic... ...

This Is How It Feels

2008-12-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

Yeap yeap, everything must have a theme before posting, it's like a goal. Today, i felt like to change something neat and bright, so i changed the look of my blog today. The header is "This is How It Feels" The author put the feelings of both couples into graphics using Photoshop. I love this header very much, the way he compiled these pictures and thoughts together.

Let's see what message he wanna tell us from this couple:
On the Left Side, there is a girl with Plaster goued on her mouth means that she can't say what she want to say. You know, sometimes girl/guy just cannot propose to each other especially on the time you fall in love with the first sight.

Then you can see this coupe. From there, author use color to symblolise the feelings. Green Color is envy and red color is desire. Every couple does quarell with each other, but in the end we can see smile is etched on each of them.

A brown color sheep, author describes it as a female. Soft fur at the outside but the real deal is inside. So cute and chubby made the guy fall of it and be the knight of queen.

The background, some sort of Vincent Van Gough style of painting stays behind of these graphics. Well, there is no particular reason but to fit the whole theme.

If you guys wanna to have some nice header just visit this site:
http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2008/03/05/blog-headers-for-free-download/
You can get many cool headers as much as you want!!

Airport bonding

2008-12-06T02:53:00.000-08:00

Airport in someway, has a special meaning to me. I have a fond bonding with it. People come, people go away, with bittersweet symphony plays in airport. Love to watch those whose sentiment rise when he or she is about boarding an airplane. Seniors are leaving, and friends are searching for job in another region. Optimism is gradual eroding with the lapsing of time. Next semester, a new batch of Malaysian Students will come over, and i will be senior. Yet so many things to learn, to handle, Education, Job, and Tuition Fees. Path of future has been determined, and airport is ready for those who is unemployed after 9 month. Wishing that i'm not the one of them.

Eventually, i shall return to Malaysia with the responsibility of taking my mum and dad. Airport in someway, it's a place of farewell glance for those who departing, and they are truly my sincere friends. Soon, in one day, i shall meet you guys too.

So what.... .... As long as i have rock move and mood!!! wakakakakak

2008-11-08T20:33:00.000-08:00

Recently, i am addicted to P!nk song "So What", so syok listening to it, its like im gonna rocking the world right now in this minute together with her song, and unwind my tension gauge, jeopardizing everything. Hehe, i am a cynical, wakakakak

anyway, this is just the only way of expressing myself. Not a domestic violence or vandalism, just the litereture violence, haha since when am i poet. haha anyway i like Pink a lot, brave to show her true self, rock & roll, no need to care about other opinion. wakaka. Let's see P!nk is not even out of Billboard Hot 100, Britney Spears' Womanzier also has to queue behind her song, Britney is back???? No!! She is still way behind P!nk. You know i've been restricting to use those words, inappropriate words in Asian eyes like Shit, Fuck, Suck and so on. It an excruciating pain to restrain myself using this word. Let me say, those word is a way of expression of normal people. May be is uncivilized among Asians, but we are in United States, we heard thousand of these words in our daily conversation, hey mom, it's not that im turning a bad ass oopps no "ass" word in my essay. Ya im now writting essay rather than bloging. Why, i don't want my mom catch me red handed reading my blog. Wakakakkakaka.

P/S: My mom dont even know how to open internet although i had been teaching her for a long time. Hehe... .... I'm turning evil, and the tail in growing out.

Back to the story, i guess every male has to be a bad guy in order to attract girl. What the hell am i talking? I said be yourself, not be a bad guy, be your true self instead of obeying anyone include your lover, its too hard to maintain in this way. Rather than being a pretty boy, i don't want to escalate the problem in the next level and then we have to KO each other!!! wakakaka. So, So What now???? Okay Check my flow with me... ...If im going to be a pretty boy, i am going to start a fight with her, war between guy and girl, oh shit, may be i will be caught domestic violence, where is the equality of man and woman, no point of talking about it, as everyone in society will point the fault to guy. Guess what, we will have our ending behind bar, wakakakak. So, write whatever you wish to write over here, don't mind about it, as long as you're not hurting each other. NANANANANNANANANNANANANANNA! Blek! I love pink!!!! by the way im listening al the way long while bloging. hahaha

Now, what should i write, am i too extreme, that i scared everyone, no~~~ Not at this point. As it hasn't develop to the next stage, we call it as physical violence agaisnt people. I am now right in the coffee house right now, i hope my aura will not frightened those students beside me. Hehehe. I am a murderer. May be.... may be..... .... Ok, last word to tell you guys and my friends, i wanna pick a quote from P!nk song. I'm gonna show you my rock moves and rocking attitudes, and i am damn alright and i am damn just fine.... .... Hehe don't worry

Remember, i am unwinding myself oooooo!!!

挣扎？

2008-11-04T01:28:00.000-08:00

夏天，我遇见了你,但我没得知你的名字，就让你消失于我眼前，或许是瞬间的邂逅。之后，我还是过得好好的，至少每夏天般的遐想，时有时无地在突然想起夏日的你，每次渐行渐远，似乎时间模糊了你的影子。可能再也不会想起你，也不奢望这再一次的邂逅。

天，每次那么喜欢作弄人，把快乐建筑在我的愚蠢之上，或许一厢情愿吧。在我筹办文化之夜当时，遇见了那面熟又陌生的你，微笑着问我些问题。糊弄你一番，一时间还是想不起夏天的你。文化之夜结束之后，我总是把视线抛向别处，寻找着你的身影。才偷瞄了你一回，就被你识破了，还跑向前来帮我一把，羞人啊。心中的欢喜绝对是不能掩饰的，在那刻，才知道你的名字。

在那之后，我才开始喜欢上你，谈不上爱情，因为就只差那三个字。无意间在图书馆碰到你，帮着你，就是那么在意你的笑容。即使大病一场，也骗着你说我在图书馆，从我家奔到图书馆，还好你当时正要离开之时，让在三楼的我，碰见在二楼的你，轻唤你的名字。你，在图书馆靠左窗的角落默默地让书香熏着你。只要你在图书馆，就有第六感遇上你。我是对我这么说的。我每天傻傻地在图书馆徘徊，不管是上午或下午。习惯性地寻找着你，走过一排排的书柜，头反射性地望着每个靠窗的桌子，直到图书馆的最角落，希望你就在那儿。即使你不在那儿，我都会兜一兜图书馆，继续相信这我的第六感。

短短一个月的时间徐徐走过，深发现自己越陷越深，我怕我跌进去这陷阱，情愿与理智拉锯着，因为我非常知道我在做什么，相信着理智拒绝的幻想，克服这理智的霸道，心甘情愿的相信对你的感觉。我问到，你还单身吗？是否接受从朋友升华的爱情。你说，不想。回想当时的情景，就是在那个下午，你遇见你讨厌的陆易和日本中国籍朋友。发现问题的出发点是多么的明显，超级白痴。也知道当时，jingle-bell是在追求着你，不自觉地衡量我与他的差距，发觉彼此间的差距是多么的明显，是多么地不利于我。至此之后，我选择了自我退出，总比受伤退役这场必败的战场。

在那几天，我把我的帐号隐藏为下线状态。不再给你打个电话，希望就这么的淡忘着你。不想你，但又在乎你的回复，真的非常矛盾。真的很想给你打个电话，理智却阻止我的右手提起手提。第一天，我干得很彻底，很爽快，似乎照着这个走势一定会遗忘你。第二天，无意间想念你的声音，但还是坚持着。每天对着电脑荧幕，总是拉下朋友表列，希望看见你在线，但又不能做些什么。就只能看着你的帐号的情况，听歌，离线，忙碌及其他状态。第三天，你回复了我，第一个讯息，你说了今日的上课情形。第二个讯息，你说了在状况外的尤丽，她跌倒了。第三个讯息则是惹火你的留言，再不出现的我，以后都不理我了。或许让我如愿地等这个理想已久的回答，但我立刻给你了答复，或许我根本放不下你，我办不到。匆匆地给了苯苯的借口让你相信，说我考试满江红。

回家之后，就写写那天的情形，我用英文写作，标题是“What am I doing”。述说着我暂时离开你的那几天，描写着自己的愚蠢。当天夜晚，回家的路途，弥漫着我的不悦耳的歌声。。。。。。

I want you to know you make me happy;
I want you know you make me sad;
I want you know you make me happy;
You are the best thing that I ever had.

我对我说，既然不能自拔，那么就干干脆脆沉陷在这陷阱挣扎吧。那天之后，我翻阅一堆堆的网上资料，如何追求天蝎座的你。很笨吧？之后很多心事你都对我说，我都一一听进耳里，我真的很高兴，你都能告诉我。每当我拨电话给你，或你打个电话给我，我是多么地兴奋，一直想这样听着你的声音。听着听着，无奈无助多于欣喜的事情，我解决不了。我说，我是你的朋友吗？对你来说，你会很确定说，是。无可置疑的答案。我想跨过这条界限，但又想起你说的朋友-恋人，我止住了，一直停留在所谓的朋友，无法再向前。尽管如此，我还是埋头不低头于事实，不承认这关系不能发展成爱情。与其说你了解我，不如我先了解你的性格，让我更深一层的剖开你的内心。当我越踏入你的心的时候，我发觉我的无能为力，我的虚弱。你渴望着友谊的真诚，但你不如你所愿。你想要有个人帮你分担课业上的压力，但我只能给你虚伪的支持。你想去旅行，但你不想搭公车，想要有个男朋友可以接送你。万圣节那个夜晚，我深怕你空虚，我尽一切可能地帮你找个成人的证件，四处为你寻找，好让你不孤单。最终还是让你失望了。挫折感一度侵蚀着我。在那夜晚里，我和你通了电话，我就在你的宿舍下，骗你说我还在家里。太长了，真的是太长了。

回想过你要与我一起买车的谈话；回想你在万圣节夜里所说的理想男友是什么条件，你说的，只有我知道；回想我为你拿的狗狗，你说那是属于你自己的狗狗，和当时听了这番话一脸无奈的我。星期一，十一月三日的我知道这几天很少给你打电话，深知和你的谈话会徒增我的无奈。我打扫了屋子，但一整天都在想着你今天怎么了。在网上的谈话也似乎少了许多。你又回我一句“我上次是开玩笑的，你考驾照是你的事情，我太无理了，呵呵。”你这次真的是把界限划得非常清楚了，我想我也明白了。但我真的无语，我当真的和我妈妈吵起架来，考虑真的要买车，也真的尽早地想考取驾照。这回，你的回答真的让我愣了许久，许久。让我想想你的回答吧，我真的只是把你当朋友吧了。。。。。。

我想唱首歌给你听。。。。。。When your minds made up

So
If you ever want something
You call, you call
And I’ll come running
to fight
And I’ll be at your door
And there’s nothing
worth running for

When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There’s no point trying to change it
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There’s no point trying to stop it

You see

When you share your falls
All you want to do is run away
And hide all by yourself
When there's fall, there's fall
There's nothing else

When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to change it
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point even talking'
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to fight it
When your mind,
your mind
oh~
There's no point trying to change it
When your
oh~
So
If you ever want something
Then you call, call
Then I'll come running

告诉我你想的吧，我真的没法猜得透你的想法。即使是伤人的话语也不打紧了，我只想让模糊的我清醒,我在你心中的位置。

Tuesday, Nov 04 2008
0300
安

带我走-2

2008-10-29T00:50:00.000-07:00

不妨听听唱唱

带我走

词/曲：苏打绿

每次我总一个人走
交叉路口自己生活
这次你却说等我走
某个角落就你和我

像土壤抓紧花的迷惑像天空缠绵雨的汹涌
在你的身后计算的步伐每个背影每个场景
都有发过的梦

带我走到遥远的以后
带走我一个人自转的寂寞
带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕带我走

每次我总独自远走
保持缄默不皱眉头
这次你却说一起走
彼此温柔从此以後

像土壤抓紧花的迷惑像天空缠绵雨的汹涌
在你的身后计算的步伐每个背影每个场景
都有发过的梦

带我走到遥远的以后
带走我一个人自转的寂寞
带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕带我走

白马溜过漆黑尽头
潮汐袭来浪花颤动
凝在海岸结成了墨

蔷薇朝向草原气球
邮差传来一地彩虹
刻在心中拍打着脉搏

带我走到遥远的以后
带走我一个人自转的寂寞
带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
我不怕带我走
带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫
带我走

带我走

2008-10-27T05:37:00.000-07:00

暗蓝天空，拉长树影伴着孤独街灯，冷冽寒风夹杂着丞琳的带我走。

仿佛秋季即将划下句点，迎来的是冷冷的冬天。学生身穿寒衣，似乎寒意袭人，在枫叶满地的行人道漫步着，喘出喽喽气息。擦擦霜手，继续未完的路程，一个人的旅程。我笑了一会，看见一样诗情画意的老外，不时把视线抛出窗外，俩人的键盘声此起彼落。无意间发现自己坐在左窗的我，似乎是法国老的最爱。云走得好快；时间和我凝固在咖啡馆的时空，静静欣赏晨曦来临。听着听着，街灯熄灭了，沧桑不再。人们开始一天的活了，而我的一天也从杯冰摩卡杯底那刻开始读书的一天。

五月的天不再五月，所以你必须坚强。。。。。。遥远的以后，一个人自转的寂寞，带走了之后，邮差带来的是一地彩虹，在你心中拍打着脉搏，等待着的是透过枫叶间晨曦的阳光。

Love Song Requiem

2008-10-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

Emily will find a better place to fall asleep
She belongs to fairy tales that i could never be
The future haunts with memories that i could never have
But hope is just a stranger wondering how it got too bad

I die each time you look away
My heart, my life will never be the same
This love will take my everything
One breath, one touch will be the end of me

You could be the final straw that brings me back to earth
Ever-waiting airports full of the love that you deserve
Wishing i could find a way to wash away the past
Knowing that my heart will break, but at least the pain will last

I die each time you look away
My heart, my life will never be the same
This love will take my everything
One breath, one touch will be the end of me

Emily will find a better place to fall asleep
Maybe she will save me in the oceans of her dream
And maybe someday live
Maybe someday live
Maybe someday live

P/S: It seems to be exaggerating, but somehow for those people who break up at this time, at least this lyrics best describes them... ...

What am i doing

2008-10-16T02:17:00.001-07:00

Today i waited for the last bus home. The weather was freezing me, i sat down with a guy who was yelling over phone about the financial crisis that happened lately. I tried to recall what had i done, some stupid stuff... ...

I told her, it was a dismay in my academic performance, and she believed it. Therefore, i went along with her stating that i am childish when facing this problem, and yeah a stupid accuse that i made. After thinking over and over again, my thought interrupted by night breeze that sending a chill to my spine. I stood up and down frequently to generate some heat watching other students rubbing their palms. Time was approaching but the bus image had not shown up. Finally, i saw a bus coming in our last passengers' way, and halted for one second. "5 more minutes, the bus will arrive soon" and the bus disappear from my sight as though was consumed by the darkness.

Well, i could not afford to wait for bus, and it was unusual for bus to be late. Thus i went home alone with my thought wandering again... ... Yeah, i want you to know you make me happy, i want you to know you make me sad, i want you to know you make me happy, you are the best thing that i ever had... ... My hymn evaporated in darkness of the night.

Down

2008-10-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

I am down today, either from last night or today's ECON 471 result.
Failure in both academic and relationship? May be or may be not, I don't know.

I told to my friend, i wanted to back to an old me, is it right? I wanna have my time management back again in my life, serious and breathless time management, in short a bookworm may be nice to describe me.

Forget about relationship, which priority comes first, i always emphasize on time priority, but now I'm in dilemma. But the rational me tells me that i should focus on your GPA 3.57.

Guess i would go with your plan, RATIONAL.

Yeah you make me happy and you make me sad... ...

Want you to know

2008-10-12T17:58:00.000-07:00

I want you to know you make me happy
I want you to know you make me sad
I want you to know you make me happy
You were the best thing that i ever had... ...

I want you to know you make me happy
I want you to know you make me sad
I want you to know you make me happy
You were the best thing that i ever had... ...

I want you to know you make me happy
I want you to know you make me sad
I want you to know you make me happy
You were the best thing that i ever had... ...

I want you to know you make me happy
I want you to know you make me sad
I want you to know you make me happy
You were the best thing that i ever had... ...

I just want you to know... ...

A moment that fading away

2008-08-23T02:42:00.000-07:00

Cellphone is ringing on her study table without someone picking him up. A taste of lonesome from a couple.... .....

ここにいるよ feat.青山テルマ

Baby boy わたしはここにいるよ
どこもいかずに待ってるよ <等候在此哪都不去>
You know that I love you だからこそ <你知道我爱你所以>
心配しなくていいんだよ <不用担心就好>
どんなに远くにいても <无论相隔有多遥远>
変わらないよこの心 <这颗心都不会因此改变>
言いたい事わかるでしょ? <你知道我想说的话吧>
あなたのこと待ってるよ <我一直都在等着你>

不器用な俺远くにいる君 <不争气的我在远处的你>
伝えたい気持ちそのまま言えずに <想表达的心情还没有说出口>
君は行っちまった <你就已经离去>
また残された君はアルバムの中 <现在留下的也只有在影集中的你>
电波でしか会えない日々 <只能在电波里相见的每一天>
だけど见えないぜ君の微笑み <然而你的微笑却再也无迹可寻>
君のぬくもり髪の香り <你的温度你发丝的香气>
この喉の渇きは <如同困扰着我喉咙的那份干渴>
のまま満たされずに <却再也无法得到满足>
过ぎてく日々の中 <在过去的每一天里>
なんだか君の面影ひたすら探した <总会不由自主地探寻着你的面容>
君とよく歩いたあの道は <常常与你一同漫步的那条小路>
今俺だけの足音が响いていた <现在只剩我的脚步声在那里回响>
んなことよりお前の方は元気か? <话说回来你现在还好吗?>
ちゃんと饭食ってるか? <有好好的吃饭吗?>
ちくしょう、やっぱ言えねぇや <可恶果然我还是说不出来>
また今度送るよ俺からのLetter <我的信还是下次再寄吧>

Baby boy わたしはここにいるよ
どこもいかずに待ってるよ <等候在此哪都不去>
You know that I love you だからこそ <你知道我爱你所以>
心配しなくていいんだよ <不用担心就好>
どんなに远くにいても <无论相隔有多遥远>
変わらないよこの心 <这颗心都不会因此改变>
言いたい事わかるでしょ? <你知道我想说的话吧>
あなたのこと待ってるよ <我一直都在等着你>

镰仓の砂浜で见た君の姿 <在镰仓的沙滩上看着你的身影>
波にのまれた君に言いたい言叶 <想对你说的话却都被浪花淹没>
なんだかマジせつねぇ <却不知怎么感觉喘不过气来>
男なのになんで..言叶出てこねぇや.. <明明是个男人..怎么就说不出来..>
覚えてますか? 君と行ったカラオケの中 <还记得么? 和你一起唱卡拉OK的时候>
俺が入れた曲の言叶 <我所唱的歌曲的歌词>
モニターに浮かんだまま <在屏幕上浮现>
ほんとは君に伝えたかった <其实真的是我想对你说的>
君と二人きりで初めて待ち合わせをしたあの日 <记得第一次和你单独见面的那一天>
まるで偶然に会ったかのように <就像你我在街上偶遇一般>
はしゃぎ微笑む君が忘れられないって <你忽然闪现的羞涩微笑令我无法忘怀>
话かなりそれちまったがわかるよな? <我变得有点前言不搭后语但你明白吗?>
俺が言いたい言叶.. <我想说的那些话>
Shit 残り书く场所がねぇや
ごめん次は绝対に送るから <对不起啊下次一定会寄给你>

Baby boy わたしはここにいるよ
どこもいかずに待ってるよ <等候在此哪都不去>
You know that I love you だからこそ <你知道我爱你所以>
心配しなくていいんだよ <不用担心就好>
どんなに远くにいても <无论相隔有多遥远>
変わらないよこの心 <这颗心都不会因此改变>
言いたい事わかるでしょ? <你知道我想说的话吧>
あなたのこと待ってるよ <我一直都在等着你>

俺がもっと金持ちだったら <如果我能再有钱一点>
もっとまともな仕事をしてたら <能再找一份更好的工作>
もしもすべて犠牲にできたのなら <如果牺牲所有的一切就能做到的话>
俺は绝対に君を... <那我绝对要把你..(娶回来)>
だがPlease勘违いだけはすんな <但是Please 你千万不要误会>
君に寂しい思いはさせたくねぇが <我从没想过要让你觉得孤单>
忙しい中あんま话せねぇが <现在有点忙不能多说了啊>
baby believeこれはall for our future
But 正直今すぐ君と会いたい
今すぐ抱きしめてやりたい <很想立刻将你拥入怀里>
昔君が俺の隣で座ってた席には <当初你坐在我身旁的那个座位>
もう谁もいないって... <现在已经没有任何人了...>
まぁそんな事はいいんだ <唉这些事情都算了>
言いたいことはそんなんじゃねぇんだ <我想对你说的并不是那些>
今さらだがずっと言いたかった言叶を込め <虽然为时已晚把我一直想说的话都写进去吧>
送るUnsent letter <寄出这份 UNSENT LETTER>

Baby girl わたしはここにいるよ
どこもいかずに待ってるよ <等候在此哪都不去>
You know that I love you だからこそ <你知道我爱你所以>
心配しなくていいんだよ <不用担心就好>
どんなに远くにいても <无论相隔有多遥远>
変わらないよこの心 <这颗心都不会因此改变>
言いたい事わかるでしょ? <你知道我想说的话吧>
あなたのこと待ってるよ <我一直都在等着你>
Baby boy わたしはここにいるよ
どこもいかずに待ってるよ <等候在此哪都不去>
You know I love you だからこそ <你知道我爱你所以>
心配しなくていいんだよ <不用担心就好>
どんなに远くにいても <无论相隔有多遥远>
変わらないよこの心 <这颗心都不会因此改变>
今なら素直に言えるよ <现在终于可以坦率的说了吧>
I don't ever wanna let you go.. <我从没想过要让你离开...>

Solitary mug and bottle of water.

2008-08-11T07:25:00.000-07:00

A new start begun in very early in this morning.
Everything was just a blur dream when i woke up.
Examination and problems were first things etched into my mind.
Leaving my bed, heading to kitchen to had something to fill up.
A familiar sound resonated with beating of heart once i opened up the fridge.

Raw meat rested in the corner. Is it cold?
Effortlessly, an instant noodle with egg and pork was readied.
Surfing net, signing in MSN were just a mere routine for student.
Finding some familiar faces of my friends in my contact list, while enjoying my breakfast.
Setting my sight over my mug and bottle, both of them rested at the window bank watching me bloging now.

How about exchanging your solitary with mine? A lonesomeness talk in this morning.

Boring Barometer

2008-08-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

Uhhh, my boring barometer is going to blow up very soon. These days, i am feeling the day went meaningless and doing nothing but staying awake in front of laptop. Surfing Friendster, finding some nostalgic friends' faces, uhhh, i am trapped again in emotional thought again. Thinking over my childhood, the time i was in my MR. NG tution class, and that moment could never be retrieved back... ... and etc. I closed the page, and started finding another site to squander my time.

Well, i came back to my Friendster page again, not looking for my hometown friends, but my own group, Cafe Terrace. Cool name, isn't it. But there is only a few members, 50... ... Not really 49, okay?! I round it up so the firgure would be half of hundred. But it is better to compare with my class group members. Well, if my high school class had only 50 and less students... ...

Now? Start typing my blog to continue squandering my time. I am not forgetting my final examination. I know what am i doing? What? You know what are you doing? Wasting time on doing something garbage. Oh yeah. Sorry about that, but i am feeling that i need to unwind myself a while.

Recently, i read a fictiona story about everyone's short comings. The protagonist is a bad-tempered people and easily get pissed off of everything that he think which is wrong from his very own unique way of view. So it goes the same to his girl friend.

Because of his worst attitude, he break up with his girl friend. His girl friend finally get fade up on tolerating him, and find herself a mexican boy friend. He is just a scumbag. He departs to New York and search for her, and quarelling over the this. The author does not clearly describe what is the relationship between that girl and mexican. I am just telling you from my stand. Let us continue... ... And eventually, the protagonist who think he has a back-up girl friend also break-up with him and in the end he gain nothing but sorrow. This story resembles a lot of one movie that i had watched long ago. That movie is Oscar awarded, American X History, the story is about the racism, and the kid easilly provoked by everyone's speech. In the end, when he wants to return to the normal track. With the thesis on his hand, he is shot to death by a black teenager. The paper has been drenched in flesh color with the title of Peace. I set my sight to the paper which writes "Life is so short to be pissed off, so do some effort to grasp for a better living."

Ohhhh, i have crapped for almost half an hour. Oh ya, today i wanted to play badminton with my friends, but within this period and this moment, everyone seems busy for their assignments and exams. Oh, what am i doing? Well, i did some revision too. I just do not want to end my three day's weekdays being a study nerd.

Anything to say... ... Not really, i guess this is the point i should stop my crap. Thank you those who watch my blog and sorry for watching this nonsense. See ya everyone.

Falling down

2008-07-23T22:06:00.000-07:00

This is my first time to write prose. Please do comment as my English level is still low though.

I am falling down, as though i am fading away on the way of going down.
Dragging down by a heavy anchor down beneath the earth.
Barely grasping for air, although i had tried to put a little hope as beacon to show me the path.

No matter how hard i try to prove, yet knowledge is distinct from reality.
Life is so mundane and yet awful. Routine task keeps recurring everyday, and it is awful to experience this humdrum existence.

Trying to say goodbye, but i just can't speak. Trying to depart, but i lose my feet.
Deceiving myself, blaming the facade of life; But the truth is the incapability of changing current circumstance. What should i do with yesterday? How did i fade away in the frame of time.

So i just wanna to forget... ... Forget... ... forget... ... it all. It is a temporary solution. Now, it's time to gear up myself, stop drifting aimlessly within windows of the past. I don't know how far can i go, God only knows. But i know i can alter my path at this moment and at this every minute.

Thus, i shall trust not to no one but myself. My path is not predetermined, but the mirror of your effort.

My Dilemma of taking picture

2008-06-24T00:58:00.001-07:00

I have a habitt taking photo myself, cause i am not that handsome or muscular in the picture. That's why i ended up to take the photo of myself. My friends are looking around me, thinking that i am crazy. But, i just don't care as long as i have a few nice photo with me. As i know whenever i take picture with my friends i am always ended up being the most unnatural person in the picture.

Hehe, so to those who said i am crazy, i have stated my reason here. You know, these 2 photos had wasted me half an hour (with almost thirty tries). I appreciate them, and that's why i upload them in my Facebook and Blog as a token for my own effort... ... May be... ... Haha

Power of remininscene

2008-06-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

I feel i am lucky today, this is my second time of getting small reward from Pepsi vending machine. Tomorrow i will to go buy my Pepsi in convenience shop nearby to get the second Pepsi hehe.

I tell myself not to drink Pepsi anymore, but Pepsi works like a drug to me, i just can't stop buying it. What the... ... The second reason is that i don't have the habit of bottling up water in my home as i always dump my bottle after drinking and ending up buying Pepsi everyday. Dang.

Last night, i went to Minneapolis with my friends, they are my seniors and i am just a junior of them, and most of them are graduated and going to graduate soon by next semester. They are Mei Thin, Soo Chin, Richard, Guat Yong, Feng Yun. Last night might be our last gathering with my seniors. Ohhh, i will miss that mement very much. Mei Thin is going to Taiwan to be a teacher, Feng Yun is going back to Malaysia; Richard and Guat Yong are currently busy for their graduation preparation for next semester. Soo Chin is going to stay for another 2 semesters with me, hopefully.

About the last night, my Karaok was terrible. But i enjoyed it. I don't know how other thought about me, may be next time they don't want to invite me to Karaok, so i better try my best to pratice my singing skill!

Ohh, i will miss all of them very much. Today i watched The Rebellion of Lelouch, heared S.H.E song, 你最近好吗？All of them relate to Power of Reminiscnene, the motivation to move forward to the day of tomorrow. That's all that i want to write down, as a track of missing you guys. Goodbye to Mei Thin, and Feng Yun, tomorrow is still charming though.

Before i stop typing, let you to have this nice song:

你最近还好吗？

挑一张耶诞卡写上满满祝福的话
地址写的是心底你能不能收到它
天有点冷风有点大城市宁静而喧哗
这一个冬天我得一个人走回家
问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜裏回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话
你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念裏挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达
旧情人给的问候比陌生人还尴尬
昨天远了明天还长回忆模糊但巨大
这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下

问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜裏回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话
你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念裏挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发
你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念裏挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

P@th Under My F33t

2008-06-15T13:44:00.000-07:00

I had came along of my life, and a sudden thought came to my mind. Is this my ideal path of life. What if i didn't choose to come to here? What if i stay back in Malaysia? What if... ... and etc. I miss my language, i miss the surrounding that i used to be. Many pictures come to me, and too much of reverie yield abstract happiness; yet wake up with nothingness but wall.

I don't want my friends come into my dreams, i don't want to enjoy myself with them in my dream, as i would know eventually this is merely a dream. It's hurt. That's the way i had chosen to walk on without my friends. Now, i am in US, trying my best to find my best friend, i mean best friend, but the truth is that high school friends are the most precious glass balls to me.

Through the glass ball, i look myself in the past with my friend. Each glass ball has its' own unique story to tell. It is meaningful to gather them up, and keep them in my desk drawer. With all of them are together, i hope we all can meet in future, and has your story to tell your friends.

No more any IF, i have to walk on, that's the journey.

0318 Friday June 06, Thought of my mind before going back to USA

2008-06-05T12:18:00.000-07:00

This is my first time in Malaysia after 10 months long in US. I didn't actually have the feeling of missing my own hometown untill the time i back to Malaysia.First day, on the way back from Taiwan airport interchange, i told to myself "4 hours more and i will be back to my own land,
the land where my mum gave birth to me!" And this is the first picture i had taken in KLIA airport, and now i know why KLIA airport is famous of its modern architecture.

First i miss alot of Malaysian food like Roti Sardin, Roti Pisang, Roti Telur, Spicy and Sour fish head, Nasi Lemak, Chai Koay, Char Koay Teo, Cendol, Ais Kacang, Laksa, Ai Yu Bing, Lo Bak, Yuan Yang, Amokana, Cheezy Pork Chop Rice and etc. Thanks to my friends in Penang, Soon Cheong, he brought me to taste all the food in one day though. I am really appreciate that he could give us a guide in Penang. And of course i miss my mum cook too!! I love her Sambal Fish, Huang Jian Yu, and Chou Dou. Mum, thanks all the things that you had done to me.

Second, i miss my dad and mum so much. Although i spent my time on teaching my mum learning online but in the end, it seemed like i had failed. I felt a little bit regret because of my own attitude. I was being rude to her as i was getting frustrating on teaching her and began to speak louder to her. I am too bad, i guess i have to said sorry before i go back to USA, and of course i will hug her too. My dad, still he has a lot of his old friends, at least i am not worry their life in home because they know how to spend their time without children in home, that means younger sister, younger brother and me! Dad, you better take care of your own health o~~ Make sure you have yourself a semiannual medical report.

Third, i miss a lot of my friends in Malaysia. Let me list them out first, San Ee, She Jui, Meng Wei, Chang Jian, Chee Wei, Zhi Yi, Lay Hoon, Chao Tee, Jin Yong, Yan Qi, Khee Jim, Jun Sin, Jin Fern, Shu Cheow and my school teacher. So far, there are some friends i haven't meet yet, they are Jin Hui, Yih Chi, Chang You, Boon Kim, Wilson (Kah Wu), and my "brother" Wah Seng. Wuh, although i still have little regret as i couldnt meet some of them, but i am really satisfied that they were willing to meet me. Thank you~~~ Your smiles touched me so deeply, Q_Q

Fourth, I guess after this Malaysia trip, i guess i will not be back for 2 years. If possible i can make it back on this winter too, but the probability will be small except my mum want me to back! Now i have the hard feeling of leaving my hometown, i don't know why. Feeling that i am going to weep silently in the corner. The picture on the right is my hometown, Parit Buntar.

I am writting blog, i am writting my feeling down, i am writting my memory, i am writting my little path of my life... ... i am... ...

Thanks Mum, Dad, my friends, teacher and Parit Buntar. Thank you. Without you all, then i will not be here. See you all in future.
//(ㄒoㄒ)//

无与伦比的美丽

2008-05-29T01:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time, i didn't hear Chinese songs... ... When i was in KL, I watched 苏打绿无与伦比的美丽MV, and i was suprised that it's indeed a typical Indie song that i long for. Well, actually we can differentiate which song has been commercialised to suite trend of public, but not for this song.

Wuh, i am addicted to this song recently although i am slow rock fan. But this song is just impressive and impactful. How should i begin with this, the music creates a picture of vast plain but with reality restrains us to fly... ... I don't know why do i want to use FLY, may be it symbolises freedom, a freedom to break the capsule of reality. May be that is the best descripition i can use to convey my feeling.

I want to send this song to all of my friends, although reality is always dark cavern of our life path, but i believe that we can fly once we are out of the cavern... ...

天上风筝在天上飞
地上人儿在地上追
你若担心你不能飞
你有我的蝴蝶
　　
天上风筝在天上飞
地上人儿在地上追
我若担心我不能飞
我有你的草原
　　
嘿嘿你形容我是这个世界上无与伦比的美丽
嘿嘿我知道你才是这世界上无与伦比的美丽
嘿嘿你知道当你需要个夏天我会拼了命努力
嘿嘿我知道你会做我的掩护当我是个逃兵

About me

2008-03-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

Personally interested in Mocha. I grew up in Old Town Style of Chinese Cafe.

Every morning, helping parents doing some routine task such as:
1. Boiling up water
2. Cleaning up the marble table and wooden chair

Usually we started business by 6 o'clock in the morning. After helping out, i would have a cup of Milo, Half-Boiled Egg on top of my coal baked bread. Sometime we didn't use butter, but using my mother handmade Kaya with baked bread.

When we were having break, i would help out my mum to take care of the cash. The toughest job was to take care the coal baked bread. I would use the double sided flat tool to nip the two bread on my left hand, and with a small wooden fan on my right hand to fan the fire while boiling up the water at the same time. Huhu.

Without using cash register, within a minute, mum had came out with the total. Impressive. When ordering, shouting was inevitable, father would recklessly went back to position after having conversation with old friends who was having breakfast before going to work. But still, the cafe was still enveloped with dense atmosphere of geniality.

That's all i have been going through. That's the part of me.